all i want to do is to smoke a blunt and chill out for a little while. i feel like crying, like dying, everything is pretty weak right now. i’m two days away from getting through the last two weeks of midterms, i’m jus really stressed out and wish so many things were different. to be honest, i can see the light at the end of the tunnel. i can tell that i’m about to put the last worst three and a half years of my life behind me, i know i’m relatively close to being truly happy again, but i haven’t been happy like that in so long and i just can’t wait. every morning i wake up and a feeling hangs over me all day like something bad is going to happen to fuck with my future happiness, something lasting, but i grind through it every day. i need this weekend, i need thanksgiving break, and i need someone special in my life.
my aunt linda passed away sunday afternoon. i have her funeral service friday, i’m really sad but not anywhere near as sad as my mom. linda was one of her three best friends that she’d had since before high school.
rest in peace
the gods have been looking down on me favorably recently. i really hope it lasts
